Haley's Birthday Dress

I have just about finished Haley's birthday dress, it just needs a zipper. I spent about 5 hours on Christmas Day to get it to this point. It's really heavy, but I think she'll like it anyway.

TODAY IS MY 1 YEAR BLOGAVERSARY

Today is my 1 year Blogaversary, one year ago today thanks to Linda and Mike I started my blogarific journey. Thanks to those of you who have been around since the beginning, and to the newbies I see popping up over there. I appreciate all of you. And if you’re lurking, even though it’s not De-lurking Day please, pop out and say hi. I’m nice most of the time, and it would be great to see you.

Now for your challenge should you choose to accept it. The interwebs is full of useless crap gifts that nobody really wants. Go out and find me some really good crap, I don’t want you to buy it, just paste the link your comment. I’m excited to see what kind of stuff you think I would like. I have a prize for the winner, and I promise it’s not crap.

I Didn't Forget!!

I decided to sew Haley a couple of play dresses, one for Christmas and one for her birthday on the 27th.
I haven't sewn from a pattern since middle school. I'm not even going to tell you how long ago that was.
Turns out I didn't forget how, one dress down, one more to go.

10 Things that Say You are from My Home Town

This weeks listicle is courtesy of Amanda


I grew up in Shelton, WA not many people would admit that, it was a small town but it grows every year, the town used to end at a tavern and now where the tavern was is a Jack in the Box and a car wash, Walmart came to town over 10 years ago, and it was a big deal. After that most of the mom and pop stores closed, JC Penney and Sears were downtown, and they became a thrift store and a senior center. It's just proof that change is constant.

Here's my list of things that would say you are from my home town

1. You are from my home town if you have a mullet

2. You are a woman and think it's ok to wear work boots with sweat pants to a restaurant 

3. You have at least one broken down car in your yard

4. When new people come to town the highlight is driving them past the giant Santa Clause or the Paul Bunion statue

5. You remember how awesome it was when Walmart came to town

6. You have at least one family member who is a member of the Eagles or the Melks Lodge (the Moose and the Elks share a building)

7. You know all the side streets to keep from getting stuck behind the train

8.You have watched salmon swim across the road

9.You have gotten food poisoning from The Ritz Drive In  restaurant but you keep eating there because it tastes so darn good

10. You remember when the Skyline drive in theater used to only show porn

I'm Obsessed with a Dude in a Dress

 Every year, health and weather permitting we participate in the annual motorcycle toy run that benefits toys for tots. To get through the gate and line up you either have to donate $15.00 or bring a toy. This year a whopping 17,000 bikers showed up for the cause, it was about thirty degrees last Saturday morning, I was bundled up in leggings, jeans, assless chaps, a long sleeve t shirt, a wool sweater, and my leather jacket, and I was warm.

This guy, dresses like this every year, I don't know if he always cross dresses, I completely admire him if he does. I appreciate anybody who lives honestly and isn't afraid to show all of their true colors, it's a hard choice to make and it's a hard life to live. And I applaud them all.

These are some of the pictures I was able to take of him, I wasn't able to get close enough to talk to him, and Steve would have been embarrassed.

Sorry he's sideways, I rotated him on my pc but for some reason rotated pix never stay that way.

The Cossacs also preformed, they're a motorcycle drill and stunt team from Seattle and all of their bikes are from the 20's and 30's.

Something I found extremely ironic, is that the ride went past the Occupy Olympia camp, they were out there with their signs to stop consumerism, and whatnot, and all of these bikes were bringing toys for kids whose parents can't afford it. If you look closely across the lake, the blue tarps are the camp and the bikes are lined up on both sides of the road for over a mile, at some points they were lined up two deep. This was the 34th annual run, and I hope that one day, it won't be necessary, but until then, bikers will gather, in freezing fog or snow or sun to ensure that kids have something to open on Christmas morning.

I'm also trying to help Jacque win a contest, I don't have pictures of the toys we took, but I had The Game of Life and Yahtzee, and when we got to the end of the run where we drop off toys, I gave a dollar to the Salvation Army pot while I was waiting for coffee.

Vanilla or Feet?

Dear Sugar Free and Fat free Creamer,
We have been friends for a really long time now, what would you say like maybe 10 years? In that time you have been many different favors, but in the last few years I've noticed you're pretty plain, vanilla and hazelnut have become my only two choices. I don't understand, I just have to say that hazelnut tastes like feet, not that I eat feet, I have, I'm sorry to admit, but the opinion of this house is feet, see it's not just me, Steve says you taste like feet too. Vanilla, is so, vanilla, whatever happened to variety being the spice of life? I like other favors, but I compromise either fat free and or sugar free to get something different. Vanilla or feet.... Vanilla or feet... I guess I choose vanilla.

Mattress Mary

I wrote a song once about my friend’s sister Mary, she was a slutty alcoholic, that smoked, wore too much perfume, and had birds. She also dated my brother in high school.

It went a little something like this…. To the tune of “love and marriage” aka the theme song to Married With Children

Mattress Mary, Mattress Mary,

Shave that bush it’s too damn hairy,

You can ask my brother, she’ll hump one and then

Another

Mattress Mary, Mattress Mary,

Drinks like a fish

And smells like a perfume factory

Bird shit on her shoulder

I wonder if anybody

Told her

Ask, ask, ask

And you can mate her

She’s not a challenge

Ask, ask and she will only jump

On your protrusion

Ohhhh Mattress Mary, Mattress Mary

Shave that bush, it’s too damn hairy

Bird shit on her shoulder

I wonder if anybody told her

I know, it’s not nice, but it’s still sorta funny, and pretty creative too. Steve helped me write it. He’s good at rhyming.

I MADE IT 30 DAYS!!

Today is number 30 of 30 days of November a post a day NoBloPloMo!
And I am done! Done I say.
Thanks to everybody for hanging in there with me, sorry I didn't visit you much, but I'll be around more now that I have time to read and not write.

30 posts in 30 days, not so hard.

PSA

Just a quick PSA to remind you, if you haven't had your physical this year the time is now. You have until the end of December to get it in this calendar year.

Girls - Spread your legs and get your boobies squished (if you're old enough)

Dudes - Turn your head and cough, and bend over for the good doctor.

Everyone, get a full blood work up and start the new year off on a healthy foot.

Snow!! Really!!!!

Not this last Saturday

But the week before

I looked outside and to my horror

There was f-ing snow

Snow I say,

The weekend before Thanksgiving

This can’t be true

F you snow!

I hate you!!

It didn't last long, and really this little dusting was very pretty, but it is just a harsh reminder that winter is on the way. .

Let's do the Time Warp Again....

I was at Henry’s this morning, and we were talking about what he did for Thanksgiving. He said he went to his nephew John’s (John is in his mid 60’, this will matter later on in the story) house and it was a poor excuse for Thanksgiving.

I got there around 4:30 or 5:00 and there were no whore-durs or anything, I had a brandy, and do you know, we sat around that table until 7:00 and there was no food of any kind. I was beginning to think that there wasn’t going to be any food, and that brandy was going to be all I got. All people did was drink this wine like none I have ever saw before, it was completely clear like water, and it was really really good.  So about 7:00 the food was finally done, Lena fixed me up a plate, I don’t know if they had a whole turkey back there or not, they wouldn’t let me see it, but I wanted to bring the bones home for my African chickens (crows). I had some dressing and some turkey breast, potatoes, salad, and some sort of green beans with those long skinny nuts in them. And there wasn’t no kind of dessert, no pumpkin pie or anything, not even coffee. And I’m telling you that’s a piss poor meal, no dessert or coffee just more wine.

There was this little baby there, I think it was John’s kid. John was running around with this girl and she got pregnant, her parents wouldn’t let him marry her, and I think that was the same baby.

So I said, ok so John recently got a lady pregnant?

   No, No it was a while ago

A while ago? Was John in high school?

   No, he was probably 20 or 21

Ok, so he got a lady pregnant when he was 20 or 21, so 40 something years ago?

   Yes, and I think that was his little kid

So you aged, and Nina aged and died, and the kid stayed 4 or 5 years old?

   Yes.

The child didn’t grow up?

   No, he didn’t, cute little bugger too.

I tried to explain to him that it was his other nephew’s son, the child is his great nephew. About four years back Tye’s daughter and her husband adopted a baby, right after that she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, they didn’t catch it in time and she died. So the baby is his nephew. I couldn’t convince him otherwise.

I want to figure out how to bottle that fountain of youth, anybody want some?

Tis the Season for Tampon Angels, Fa La La La La

  To make tampon angels you will need the following supplies:

Ø  The most absorbent Playtex tampons you can find, I’m using Supers, but the Super Plus or Ultra make a bigger angel.
Ø  Some white glue and glitter glue

Ø  Small beads
Ø  Flesh Color paint and sparkly paint 
ØSomething for hair, I’m using shredded jute twine, but I have also used tinsel or yarn.
Ø  2 inch wire ribbon for the wings
Ø  Pipe cleaner for the halo ( I know, I know, it’s politically correct to say chenille stem, I’m old school, it’s pipe cleaner)

 Ø  A small paint brush or q-tips

Ø  Markers for the mouth and eyes

To start, pop the tampon out and loosen the string, move it down like a noose, and soak the tampon completely, wring out the water, fluff and hang somewhere to dry for a couple of days.

Once your base is dry, grab your paint, make her a face on the widest side of the top, and paint her dress with the glitter paint.

I don’t wait for anything to dry, I just get to work. I add some white glue to the bottom of her dress and shake in a little bowl of beads.

Make a small line of glue like a cross on her head, and stick the hair on.

Cut your ribbon in about a 6 inch length, fold it over on itself and pinch together in the middle, grab your pipe cleaner and wrap around the bow. About an inch above the bow, make a loop and wrap around the stem, cut off any remaining wire. Glue to the back.

I use the glitter glue to make her a collar, it covers up the string and the line between her face and dress, make a line down the front of the dress and add some beads.

By now the face paint should be dry, make her a couple of eyes, and a mouth.

Pull the string through the top of the halo, and you’re done, now hang her to dry somewhere and make some more.

The hardest and most frustrating part of making these angels, is getting F-ing blogger to arrange the pictures in the right order.  :)

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Done Shopping...

...almost

I'm going to make Haley some princess dresses for Christmas, and I'm going to buy the fabric tomorrow, and I have to pick up a couple of $25 gifts for our family drawing, and then I'm done all done!!

Whatcha Bringin'?

We’re going to Steve’s brother’s tiny little house for Thanksgiving, there will be way too many people there, and FIL, MIL, and Sis have to come from over 30 miles away because BIL and his wife are selfish. FIL has taken a bit of a turn for the worse, and can barely walk to the bathroom. But we’re still all going to pile into BIL’s house.

We were going to go to FIL’s house because it would be easier for them, Sis lives there, she was going to make the turkey, and we were going to bring stuff over, but BIL said he promised his kids last year that we would have it at their house this year, even though everyone is always invited to Thanksgiving wherever it is.

I’m a little disgruntled with BIL and his wife because last year, when Thanksgiving was at my house they texted Wednesday night and said they were having their own Thanksgiving, and they wouldn’t make it to our house, which would have been fine if they were bringing mashed potatoes, or a pumpkin pie, but they were bringing the ham. I had to go to the grocery the night before thanksgiving and pick over the last hams left. I always invite everyone, BIL, his kids BIL’s wife’s kids and their fam, I had a 25lb turkey expecting everyone to show, and there were 6 of us.

Whenever we invite them to any family gathering, they call or text 5 minutes before they are supposed to show up and cancel, but I can’t not invite them to a family thing, because they are family.

That is why I waited until Monday to RSVP, I wanted to wait until Wednesday night just to prove my point, but Steve said I should do it sooner, so against my better judgment I did.

All that was left to bring was an appetizer or pop.

I’m bringing bacon wrapped mushrooms with bbq sauce.

This is how it’s made:

Buy 10-12 big white mushrooms, and the cheapest bacon you can find.

 Quarter the shrooms and the bacon, wrap the bacon around the shrooms and stick with a toothpick, bake at 350 until the bacon is cooked, then top with your favorite bbq I prefer Stubs Hickory Bourbon sauce and bake another 10 minutes. Viola an appetizer that only costs about 5 bucks, unless you use spendy sauce. 

Man I Have had a lot of Jobs... The Finale

Medical Supply: I had a little bit of a medical background from going to massage school, so I understood a lot of the diagnosis’s, but learning codes and Medicare guidelines was a total bitch. I got it though, and I was good at my job, they transferred me to the new store, I developed all of the policies and procedures for the store, worked with the corporate office to manage invoicing and I was there by myself all day, I had a lunch relief worker, but that was it. And when I asked for a raise, I got written up instead, for not keeping up on the insurance end of things. Did I mention I had no support, none, management never offered to help, and when I asked for help I didn’t get it. I left that company after 3 years, when I was recruited to sell yellow pages.

 I loved selling yellow pages, I loved the freedom to do what I wanted when I wanted, I had breakfast out with my friends every morning. I got to design ads for businesses and I made a lot of money. I always got my 30% increase because I learned early how to play “the game” and my clients loved me and looked forward to seeing me coming. Until the day our company was bought out by the largest yellow pages company in the world. They changed the game, and I became a faceless number who was failing at my job. I couldn’t sell anything, and over half of my clients cancelled. New business with these new rules was a thing of the past, and I couldn’t design ads any longer, they left it to the “designers” who did substandard work and didn’t follow directions. I was miserable, and every day I didn’t have a sale I would have to report to the manager’s office, where I was pretty much told I was worthless, and I would cry. I cried in my car every day, I cried before work, and I cried when I got home. Fortunately I still had flexibility to spend my time doing what I wanted, and I went to a temp agency and took a test, they had a job interview for me the next week, and that leads me to my current position.

Currently I work for a financial advisor, I have been here almost 5 years, and my anniversary is in March. I really like my job, I learn something new every day, and that keeps me from wanting to leave. Usually after 3 years, I’m ready to move on. My boss and his wife are really good people, they treat me really well, and I don’t see myself going anywhere anytime soon. We

During my time at the credit union, and into my time at the medical supply company, I also was a barista, and I started taking care of Henry and his wife Nina until she died. Somewhere along in there I was also a janitor our crew cleaned Mervyns; I have mad respect for janitors that have to clean public places like that.

I read a quote once that said something like, If you can do for 3 years what most people won’t do, you will be able to do for a lifetime what most people can’t do. I took that to heart, and every new job I get I try to make it last at least three years, even if I hate

Man, I Have Had a Lot of Jobs!!

I started babysitting when I was 12, my parents were lower middle class and my dad drank all of his paychecks, which left little for me. My mom bought my coat, and I had to buy my school supplies and clothes.

When I was a freshman in high school, I went to work at an in home daycare. I worked there for 5 years, also during that time I tried to work at McDonalds, but they couldn’t understand that I didn’t get off work at my first job until 5:30 so don’t schedule me until then, that job lasted about a month.

Right after high school I went to work at Toys R Us. I was there for 3 years, that’s when I officially became Madge instead of Megan. It seemed that everyone was naming their kids Megan in the ‘90’s and I was turning around every 5 minutes when somebody’s mom hollered out my name.

When I wasn’t working at Toys R Us, I was a housekeeper for a retired cop, his wife, and his mother that lived next door.

I left Toys R Us to work for a physical therapist who was the ultimate short man ass, I really liked that job, but I couldn’t deal with him, so I went to work for a Chiropractor who turned out to be the most unethical person I had ever worked for. He was also a massage therapist, and he would take women up into the massage room and bear their breasts to work on their chest. He also required women to completely undress for x-rays and then wouldn’t let them put their underwear back on for the physical exam. He also thought that he could buy his way into heaven by tithing the church before he paid his employees. I always got a paycheck, but the office manager often had to go without.

I did learn how to take, develop and diagnose x-rays, I also learned a lot about the body and he encouraged me to read his college books and figure out how the nervous system works, which helped prep me for massage school.

I was rescued from the dirty doc by the Bead man and his wife, he took one look at me and said “what are you doing here? This is no place for you, come work for me, we’ll let you work as much as you want and you will fit in well with us, I can tell” I liked working for the tie die hippy bead makers, I could wear what I wanted, I got to fix things like plumbing and I even built a chicken tractor. I also packed glass and bead orders, and cleaned and cooked. I was the next best thing to a live in maid. I don’t really remember why I stopped working there, but I could always go back if I needed too.

I nannied for a year, and left the nanny job to work at the credit union, I started out working nights, and I also cleaned houses during the day. I worked at the credit union for 5 years, I went from part time nights to full time teller, but I wasn’t a good teller, my till was always off, either over or short every day, it got so bad that they wanted to fire me, but made a new position for me instead, I was still a back up teller, but I was basically support for all of the departments. I learned a lot, then they transferred me to phones, and then to the greeter desk. I got really bored there, so I would go visit people, the president gave me a stopwatch and told me I couldn’t be away from my desk for more than three minutes at a time. I wasn’t making much money there, so I left to work for a medical supply company.

I wish this was the end of my job history, but it’s not, and this post is getting too long, so I will continue it tomorrow.

10 Reasons Why I Don't Have Kids of My Own.

I'm hooking up with Stashia's Monday Listicles again courtesy of Jen @ Just Jennifer, today's topic is either 10 reasons you want/have kids or 10 reason's you don't.

A little back history…. I have known my husband since I was 10, he’s 17 years older than I am, I don’t remember much about him when I was younger but I sure noticed him when I got older. We got together briefly when I was 18 while he was separated, we parted ways, because I’m not that kind of girl, and by the time I was 21 he was divorced, and his kids were Boy 7 and Girl 9.



This one's called: You can't give them high 5's or they'll
do it too much and never learn to cuss elegantly.... I HEART Natalie DEE!!!



So here’s my list

1.      I was lucky not to get pregnant in high school, every 28 days I celebrated with Aunt Flo.

2.      He is 17 years older than I am, and he already had kids, we had part time custody, so I didn’t need kids of my own because I already had them.

3.      He had already been snipped, and we didn’t have the financial resources to un-snip him.

4.      I nannied and infant for a year, I got to experience what it was like having an baby 5 days a week for 9 hours. It was exhausting and by the time I got home I had had enough.

5.      I’m too selfish with my husband, time, and things. I don’t like to share any of them unless it’s absolutely necessary.

6.      When his son was 10 we fought for full custody, the ex told the judge that Steve was an alcoholic, so he voluntarily took the class that they make you take when you get a DUI and he went to AA he stopped drinking completely, and we sacrificed a lot to get the boy. (They learned how to slam shots from their mother). By the time he was 12 he decided that he was going to do what he wanted, when he wanted and there was nothing we were going to do or say to change it. I hated going home, Steve worked nights and I was stuck having to handle this child that wasn’t mine. We shipped him back to his mom at the end of the school year, I couldn’t do it anymore.

7.      I pity the foo that has tween children, that really cured me from having any of my own, I will never do tweens again.

8.      I had an ablation 2 years ago this April, it is the best thing I could have ever done for myself, and because of that I no longer have a nest for the egg to land in even if I had a momentary lapse of reason and decided I wanted to get pregnant.

9.      I have a beautiful granddaughter who is almost 4, we see her often, and she’s a lot of work, fun work, but work, and I’m too old to have that sort of energy around me all the time.

10.  I’m happy with the choices I have made to not have kids of my own. Now if I could just get rid of the dogs.

Take These Onions?

After we had the conversation about Henry’s cheese infection, and I fixed his breakfast, it was time for him to get ready for his shower.

He came around the corner in his underwear and t-shirt and handed me his socks, he said “Here, take these onions”

I knew at that very moment that the old fella had gone bonkus in the konkus, he was officially chicken soupy in the head, and there was no turning back. I was going to have to rally the family and explain to them that he thought that socks were onions and he insisted that I take them.

Those are socks, dirty socks, go put them in the dirty clothes.

No they’re onions, take them.

No they’re dirty socks not onions; go toss them in the laundry.

No, they are onions, there’s onions in these socks, go dump the onions out of my socks into the compost bucket, and I’ll put them in the dirty clothes when you’re done.

Why do you have onions in your socks?

Because I was trying an experiment, I remember once they used to say if you were getting a cold to sleep with onions in your socks, so I diced up some onion and put them in there.

Oh, did it work?

Yes, I think it did, I felt pretty good when I woke up in the morning.

How many days did you have those same onions in your socks?

I don’t know, one or two.

One or two days with onions in his socks, I guess that’s better than a week, at least they didn’t have time to get moldy, and I didn’t notice any fungus on his feet when I washed them, hopefully he doesn’t try it again, and if he does, I hope he has the sense to change his socks.

I have a Cheese Infection

Henry called early last Friday afternoon to let me know he had a doctor appointment so when I called at 5 if he wasn’t home, not to worry because that’s where he was. I asked him what was wrong and he told me he had an infection on his butt.

Saturday morning as soon as I walked through the door at his house, I asked him what the doctor said.

Doctor says I have a cheese infection, have you ever heard of that?

No, never are you sure that’s what he said?

Yes, he said I have a cheese infection, it’s like what women get, have you ever had a cheese infection?

No, never, then it dawned on me what he was trying to say.

I said you don’t have a cheese infection, you have a yeast infection

            What?

A yeast infection, you know like what you use to make bread, yeast.

            What? Make the bed? Yee?

No YEAST, YEAST, YEAST, YEAST! IT’S A YEAST INFECTION!!!

Let me write it down for you.

Oh, heh heh, yeast, that’s what women get in their pussies, isn’t it?

Yes

I don’t have a pussy, how did I get it?

You got it because you don’t change your diaper every day, I told you your ass was going to rot off if you didn’t change it every day, and now it is. Promise me you will change it every day now. That infection is not going to get better if you don’t keep yourself clean and change every day. Are you going to change every day? EVERY DAY!!!

Yes, yes, ok I’ll change it every day.

And put Bag Balm on it, it’s like a bad diaper rash, Bag Balm will help, will you put Bag Balm on it every day?

Yes, I suppose, but I can’t see it

You can feel it though can’t you?

Yes

Then you don’t have to see it, just make sure you wash your hands before and after, will you do that?

Yes, I will.

We’ll see if he will or not, he has enough money to buy all the diapers he needs, but he’s a child of the depression and $.30 a day is way too expensive to waste a diaper a day on. During the "last depression" you could buy a bowl of mashed potatoes with turkey for $.30 a day.

He won’t waste 30 cents on hygene, and he won’t pay $2.50 to go hang out at the senior center, and have lunch when he has perfectly good food at home. He would rather sit home and be lonely than spend the money for some company. He says he’s frugal, I say he’s cheap.

What he will spend money on are gimmicks, like those bracelets with “magic holograms” that are supposed to help your balance, or a supplement guaranteed to cure prostate cancer. Even when I pull up reviews and tell him it’s a waste of money and 99 out of 100 people said it doesn’t work, he’ll still shell out the $9.95 to see if he is like the one person that it did work for.

96 and still kickin’ I guess he’s doing something right.

What's Good About Not Working?

Today I’m linking up with Just Jennifer for the TGIF, the whole point is to end your week on a positive note by writing about something good that happened this week.

Something good….. something good……

My husband is laid off this week, he has worked for the same company for almost 39 years, and because of the housing market, the mill where he works has been operating a week on a week off since 2008-ish. This month has been especially tight, and I have decided to put us on a very strict budget that we almost managed to stick to.

The good thing here is that he hates his job, and he’s a much much happier husband when he doesn’t have to go to work. He’s been teaching himself to play guitar for the last 7 or so years, and every day when I get home from work, he has learned a new song that I get to guess, I’m usually right, can anybody say WINNING. And he cleans the house so I don’t have to do it when I get home. I like coming home to a happy husband, and a clean house, and when I got home the other night, he was just about to light the first fire of the season in the fireplace. Nothing warms a house like a nice fire.

We have also decided to go “on the wagon” to allow our livers to heal a little, and we haven’t touched a drop since November 1^st, it’s amazing how much better I’m sleeping without a little help from my friend Ambien.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

We had Haley over the weekend, she’s a smart, funny and sometimes very bratty almost 4 year old.

She thinks it’s funny to try to stick barrettes to Steve’s bald head, and she thinks it’s funny to tell him he’s a girl, she also loves to open the door, yell something and you and then slam the door.

After a morning of trying to stick clips to Steve’s head, and trying to get him to wear a headband or a tutu, he decided he needed to go to the gym.

Haley opened the door to the garage and yelled “Bye grandpa… don’t forget your purse” slammed the door, and ran away laughing.

Like most little girls, she loves to play dress-up, I handed her the majority of my dresses and she laid them all out in the dining room. She then informed me that they talk. I have a couple that could have been inspired by South American prints. When I asked her what they say, she said, “those ones say Spanish, and the rest say regular.”

When “Here Comes the Sun” came on the iPad, she knew a lot of the words, Steve asked her who sings that, she didn’t know, when he told her The Beatles, she said.

“No grandpa, Beatles don’t sing this song, no flies or other bugs or animals either, it’s some big men”

I asked her if she wanted a granola bar to hold her over until dinner and she said “no I want it to eat”

I am Legend - Fo Real!

When I was staying in Seattle in September I looked out my window, and I noticed something really strange. There were people in every window, it appeared that some of them were talking on the phone, and some were just standing there. But why weren’t they in their apartments on the phone, why stand in the hallway near the window. It was creeping me out until I realized that they were plants. But it reminded me of the movie I am Legend, where the world is in a zombie apocalypse, only the zombies can’t come out in the daylight, but at night they pose mannequins in the streets and in buildings to lure out the people, and in this case, the last person in the city. Check it out; I’m sure you’ll see what I saw.

Assimilating Assembly Part 2

It's another Saturday Centus, this week is similar to last week in that the picture is the same, however the viewpoint is different.

Here's the rules

THE PROMPT THIS WEEK IS THE PICTURE. I AM WRITING THIS GIRLS STORY.
WORD COUNT - Not to exceed 100 words.
STYLE OF WRITING - Any
NO ADDITIONAL PICTURES

You will be taken to our mother ship where you will be shrunk, you will be numbered and your hair will be turned the color of rust.

I am standing with the mob, they don't know I’m a child, I stole this uniform. I can't tell them I don't believe in the mission, I don't want to die, so I just stand, watch, and pray not to be caught.

Wait! What was that? I saw movement in the window. I fear for their safety, I will stay quiet, maybe I can escape, and find safety in the darkness with them.

My First Monday Listicles!!!

I’m pretty excited to link up with Listicles today, not because it’s my first time, well maybe a little, but because I’m doing NoBloPoMo where you write a post a day for 30 days, with my friend Abby, and I’m running out of Blog fodder. She challenged me, and usually I’m not competitive but, I don’t want to be aced out by her, so now I’m scratching for something great to write about.

I’m not going to be like some people and blow the list off altogether just to write about what I want, although I do love some people’s posts because they always make me smile.

Here’s my list of things that make for a great vacation:



This is the lobby at the Benson, you can stay here for $100 per night. 

1.      Time- Not necessarily quantity of time, but quality of time. We went to Portland Oregon the last weekend of October, for my birthday weekend, it was a Friday-Sunday deal because I was out of vacation time, and short on cash, and because it was a weekend, I didn’t feel guilty for not being at work, and not taking care of Henry. And because of that I was able to relax and focus on just being in a new place and taking it all in. We stayed at the Benson Hotel, if you go to Portland, stay at the Benson.





2.      New Experiences- I had never been to Portland to hang out, when we go it’s to get something, or do something, then turn around and go home. It’s about a 2 ½ hour drive from my house, so when we do go it’s rare. We parked our car with the Valet, and didn’t get it out until it was time to go home. We walked everywhere, and the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry was a mile and half walk from the hotel, they were showing The Bodies Exhibit, and I always wanted to go. Steve isn’t down with museums, but it was my Birthday, so he went, and he really liked it, to the point where he wanted to bring other people to see it.



3.      Doing Nothing- Vacation is the best time to do nothing, when it was raining we watched one of the Jackass movies and just hung out in the room, and Saturday night was so warm we walked through town looking for a lounge that had some live music, but it was early, around 8 and nobody had started playing, so we sat on a bench under these huge trees and watched people and cars, and just soaked it all in.

4.      Appreciating the Simple Things- Nothing tastes better than a latte in the middle of a park. Ok, lots of things probably taste better, but when you’re kicking back watching the world and you are with the person that you love the most, in that moment, nothing tastes better.

5.      Smelling the Flowers- Literally, how often do we take time out of our busy lives to smell the flowers, or the grass or watch the birds, when you are on vacation, you have all the time in the world to do that.



6.      Not Answering the Phone when Work Calls – I love my job, and I love the people I work for, it is really hard for me not to answer the phone or text back when they contact me, when I’m on vacation it’s easier for me to not respond as fast as I would if I were home.

7.      Not Coming Back Early- When work does call, they always tell me I don’t have to stay on vacation, I can come home early. And sometimes before I go, they say I don’t have to leave, I can stay instead. Sometimes they are joking, most of the time they’re not. Aubrie can handle most anything now; I don’t know why they worry.

8.      Maid Service- Seriously, what else do I have to say here?

9.      Eating Out- Again, if somebody else is doing the cooking, and the cleaning up after, I’m all for it.

10.  Letting My Tattooed Freak Flag Fly! - I have tattoos, and recently I got a quarter sleeve on my right arm. I am always conscious not to let my tattoos hang out at work or work functions. If I am at a party where I know there will be clients, I am also careful. Tattoos still carry a stigma, and I don’t want our clients to think less of me as a person or think that my boss has low standards of professionalism. When I’m on vacation, I just let it all hang out, I don’t care what people see or feel, I am who I am, like it or don’t.