Thursday, March 31, 2011

Ummm I Love Mobbed

Ok, so i'm watching the new Fox show Mobbed. I'm Loving. It. Never thoght I would spontaneously post, but I. Love. It!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

My Tattoos Part 1

For our first aniversary Steve and I decided to get tattoos. It's true what they say, you can't have just one. We went to the tattoo shop and I picked out what I wanted, I got it that night, and Steve went the next day to get his. We didn't set out to get matching tattoos, it just sort of worked out that way. I didn't know that it was a Masonic symbol. I just liked the way it looked. It stands for stability and Gods grace and ever watching eye. I'm not religous by any sense of the word, but I like what it stands for. It's on my right ankle, and I've had it for 13 years.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Strange Occurrences in Nature

We went for a long drive up into the mountains yesterday, and as we rounded a corner through a stand of trees to a clear cut, this one lone creepy tree stood. I can understand why the loggers left it there, it's not every day you run into something like this, but it looks evil.

Then this morning, as I was pouring creamer in to my coffee, this happened. OK, I know this isn't nature, it's my kitchen, and it's not just coffee it's Cafe Du' Monde', but it happened all by itself. Not near as good as if the face of Jesus would have appeared, but interesting all the same.

And now for your listening pleasure, Henry plays the harmonica (he calls it a "mouth organ" and it makes me laugh, he's also hell bent on teaching me how to play, I have two and never really got into it)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I Don't Go Looking for it, but Drama Finds Me, Part 2

In December of 2006 it seemed to have rained long enough to float an arc. The ground was saturated, everything was wet and soggy. December 15th, the wind started to blow, it wasn’t just blowing, it was the beginning of the storm of my life, I would say the storm of the century, but I don’t know that to be true. Anyway, the wind blew all night, we could hear limbs hitting the house I was afraid that they would come through the skylights, by 9 p.m. our yard was littered with debris. I was really scared, and the dogs were freaking out, they didn’t want to go to bed, they barked and whined, you know when the animals get upset that something bad is going to happen. And it did, at around 2 a.m. we heard a whoosh, followed by a crash. I jumped from my bed and looked out the window, the neighbors’ tree had fallen and landed on both of our cars, the power had gone out, and the street was in complete darkness. We grabbed the flashlight and the dogs and went down to the garage and blew up an air mattress to sleep on, I wasn’t going to spend another minute in the upstairs bedroom with the threat of something landing on us.

We settled in for what was only going to be a cold and restless night, when I heard voices. I assumed that it was the Power Company coming to look at my downed lines, it wasn’t it was the neighbor coming up to check the damage. It was his tree that fell on our cars, it fell through the front of his house ran the full length of his house, up the hill, across both of our cars, and the top was lying on our doorstep.

When the sun came up, we wandered outside to take a good look at the damage, it was amazing how something of that size could just fall over, it took the better part of two days to clean up all the damage. Both of our cars were totaled, but our house had minimal damage, and fortunately nobody got hurt. Sometimes the neighbors son sleeps in the room that the tree fell through, but it just happened that night he was in his room. Its times like these that remind me that things can always be worse.

Cars under the tree, my room is above the red car

I was asked at a job interview once if I felt like I was lucky. I don’t think I’m lucky, but I feel like I’m very fortunate, I suppose those words could be considered interchangeable, but in my mind they are different. Luck has to do with superstition, rabbit’s feet and potions. We weren’t lucky that the tree didn’t land on us while we slept, we were fortunate.  I’m fortunate to have my health, and my family, and my job. Those things have nothing to do with luck.

View from my bedroom, the bed is right behind me

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Henry Played His Slide Whistle for YOU!!

I went to Henry's yesterday, and after breakfast I told him that my friends wanted to hear him play his slide whistle. I have a few of his songs on my phone, the slide whistle is a text ring tone, and his harmonica is my ringer. ENJOY!! 

I also took pictures of some deer in his back yard

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Check Out My Underpants!!

When my sister got married in 1989 I was her maid of honor. We were both big Pee-Wee Herman fans at the time, so for my brides maid gift, she gave me giant men's underpants. They are real underwear, size 60. They have come with me to every job I have ever had, and I have had many. They are fun to hide in people's desk drawer or just leave in the bathroom for someone to find. There are lots of things to do with giant underpants.... watch this!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

I Got My Hair Cut Yesterday

Before - dead and dreary
I was so tired of my long curly hair, It took forever to dry, it was always either too curly, or not curly enough, and as I slept it would get straight and wiry, forget about not washing my hair every day. This is a process, and I'm glad to be mostly done with it. 
After - short and bouncy

Friday, March 11, 2011

I don't go Looking for it, But Drama Finds Me

Police blotter February 14th 2009 3:30pm
Chevron station robbery at gunpoint. 4 miles from Madge's house.

February 15, 2009 a man knocks on Madge's front door where Steve is home taking care of two year old Haley.
Man : Hey man, I'm out of work, just walking through the neighborhood to see if anybody needs some yard work done or something.
Steve: No, sorry I'm out of work to, so I couldn't afford to pay you.
Man: That's cool man, are you just out of work today?
Steve: No, for a long time, not just today.
Man: Oh, ok I'll try the neighbor.

February 16th 2009, 8:00 pm police knock on Madge's door, two cars with lights flashing. Steve steps outside to talk to them for what seems like forever. I'm thinking that "The Boy" has gotten himself into some trouble. Steve came back in the house to grab a jacket, and told me that they guy that knocked on the door yesterday looking for work is the same person who robbed the Chevron. The police said that he hid his gun in our yard, and they're bringing the gun sniffing dog to search. They were at our house for about two hours, and found nothing.

The next day they came to search again, they looked all over our property, and the neighbors. Unfortunately the gun sniffing dog was just a pup and was more interested in chasing squirrels, so they left.

When I got home from work I let the dogs out, they have a fenced area with two gates, one to the front yard, and one to the back. My dogs run away if the gate is open, they were out and in all night. When I got up in the morning to let them out, the gate was open and they got out. Which means that while we slept he came back and got his gun out of our yard. I was totally freaked out. I made Steve install a security system.

We live in a fairly large, but quiet neighborhood, our street winds through it between two main roads, and our house has the most landscaping on the street, so it makes sense that he would choose our house, he could have easily hid the gun in our front yard, but he chose the back, it's harder to get to, through a gate  across a dog poopy sidewalk and over a 4ft fence. I wouldn't have been as bothered if he had stashed it in the front but he violated my sense of safety by taking it around the house. Things could have gotten very ugly if he would have tried to get in the house when the baby was here. Steve would have killed him, he's a black belt, and we keep guns in the house. They arrested the guy a few days later.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


Henry has an old can of alum up in the cupboard. It's really old, so old that it's a true 'tin" can, and the price is $.15.

I asked him one day "Henry, how come you have this can of alum in the cupboard?"
He said "We used it once to try to make our own jerky, you put it on the meat, and it helps to dry it up.
Some women put it on their pussies to make them really tight. OH! But not Nina though, she never needed it. But there was this one woman I knew she was pretty much a whore, she would have sex with anybody, and this one day, a man that had a dong the size of a small horse wanted to have sex with her. And do you know.... they did, and he pulled her insides out. Pretty much ruined her for the rest of the town."

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Open Letter to Pepperidge Farm Sausalito Cookies

WTF Dude! Had I known that I was paying almost 4 bucks for 8 cookies I would have bought the Mothers pink frosted circus cookies that I really wanted. You know, the kind with the sprinks and the frosting that coats your mouth with a lard like substance. Had I known that I ate half the bag on the way home from the grocery store I would have stopped at 2. Jesus Sausalito quit being so damn frugal!!