So here it is.. my first post. I’m not sure what to write about so I guess I’ll start with “Sh*t that Henry Says”
I have a day job, Monday through Friday I’m an office manager for a financial advisor. But one weekend morning a week I drive 30 miles one way to take care of Henry. He’s 95 and I’ve been caring for him for 15 years. I started taking care of him and his wife then she died of the big “C” and I promised her I would take care of him until he either died or wound up in a nursing home. Little did I know I was signing on for 10+ years.
I don’t do it for the money, he pays me $25 to cook, clean and help him take a shower.
These are a few things that I have learned from him.
- If you have a penis it’s going to shrink, if you have a foreskin, it won’t. He has told me on several occasions that his penis is the size of a two year olds and if you don’t get a piss boner you can’t pull back your foreskin enough to keep from spraying pee everywhere.
- Women that will give you a free sample, don’t always expect you to marry them, they just want your sex. But don’t try to get a second sample unless you have a ring in your pocket.
- The slide whistle is a great instrument.
(as soon as I can figure out how to post sounds, I’ll post samples, they’re adorable)
This is a conversation we had recently.
Henry (looking at a playboy)
“Hey, come here, look at this, this woman looks very peculiar”
Me
“Why do you say that?”
Henry
“She doesn’t have any hair down there. What’s wrong with her, did she have lice or something”
Me
“No, some women just wear it like that”
Henry
“Oh do you have black hair by cracky”
Me
“What!! That’s none of your business”
Henry
“HAHA!! Do you know that if you don’t keep it trimmed up, you have to comb through it to have a BM?”
Ok, Please correct me if I’m wrong, or maybe I’m missing something, but I have never in all of my 39 years seen an ass hair comb. But I’ve never looked for one either. I’ll get to Googling and let you know what I find.
