Friday, January 21, 2011

He Drove an Orange Gremlin

When I was a senior in high school I went on the worst date ever. This boy that I sort of dated as a freshman asked me to go to see Billy Squier in Seattle. He said someone had given him the tickets and I would just have to help pay for gas. That was cool, I had a job (he didn’t) I didn’t mind helping pay for gas.

I gave him money for gas, we had about ½ a tank, and we took off, Seattle was a little over an hour away. When we got to the show, we had to pay for parking, I offered to pay, He let me. We went to McDonalds, I was starving, I ordered my food, and asked him if he was going to order anything. He then told me that he didn’t bring any money, I got to pay for dinner. We walked into the Paramount Theatre, I’m sure it was great in it’s day, it was a little run down, but still ok. I bought a pop, and a shirt. He asked me if I had enough money to buy him a shirt too. NO! I don’t have enough money to buy you a shirt too, I left the house with $50 to buy gas, I got to pay for gas, parking, dinner, pop, my shirt, and you want me to buy you a shirt too? No I don’t have enough. You can’t have anything, here drink some pop.

The show was ok; when it was over we headed home. He was tired, I didn’t realize that being cheap made you sleepy, but apparently it does. He told me to drive, I didn’t have a driver’s license, and I didn’t know how to drive a stick, I clutched, he shifted, and we were on our way. He fell asleep and slept all the way to Bremerton when I hit a stop light, and he had to get us going again. Half way to town in the middle of nowhere, he wanted me to put out. PUT OUT!  IN THE BACK OF THE ORANGE GREMLIN!! Oh! HELL NO! I totally threw down, poor thing didn't no what hit him, he didn't know what to say, when I reminded him how I had to pay for everything and how not only was I not going to put out, he was never ever going to go anywhere with me again, don’t look at me, don’t tell anyone we went together to this concert. 3 blocks from my house, he looks at the gas gauge and says I don’t have enough gas to get home. I had 4 dollars left, thankfully gas was only $.91 a gallon back then. I put it in his tank and never spoke to him again.

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