He went to look at one and called us on Thursday night, he's an Arkie, so he has a pretty thick southern accent. The conversation went like this
F.I.L - I think I'm going to buy a motor home, I went and looked at one today guy only wants $2300 for it.
Steve - $2300? how are the tires, does it have any body damage, does everything work?
F.I.L - The front tires are good, I couldn't see the back ones, it has some body damage, and the fridge is broken
Steve - The fridge is broken? Those are expensive aren't they?
F.I.L - Yeah, but the guy said I could go buy a small on at the home DEE-POE and just plug it in. It doesn't run very good, they guy is going to put a fuel filter on it tomorrow, oh and it needs brakes. He said it would take about $3000 worth of work to get it ready for the road, but it's good enough to live in. I'm just dumb enough to buy it.
The thing about F.I.L is when he gets and idea in his head he doesn't rest until he gets what he wants. He always buys the first thing he sees, and sells it a few months later at a profit.
Steve texted Sis
Steve- So what kind of a piece of crap is dad buying
Sis - A huge piece of crap, but I can't get him to change his mind, I'm printing ads off CraigsList right now.
Steve - He said it needs brakes
Sis - 3 of the brakes are frozen, and it's on top of that long hill that leads down to the canal. He thinks he can drive it home, but the guy told him that if he bought it he wouldn't let him have it unless he called a tow truck.
Friday
F.I.L - I bought a motor home from a lady down the street!! It's real nice too, 1986 27' and I only paid $3200 for it, I'm bringing it out to the lake tomorrow.
Saturday
F.I.L shows up to the lake with his "real nice" 1986 motor home, the toilet isn't bolted to the floor, and it moves back and forth about 6 inches, and it smells.
Sunday
We went home
Tuesday Sis calls and asks Steve if he's coming out because the toilet is broken and they want him to fix it.
Steve shows up, takes the toilet out and sets it outside.
F.I.L sitting in his hoveround - Steve hand me that toilet
Steve - There's still toilet water in it
F.I.L I don't care just hand it here - Takes the toilet, dumps the toilet water all over himself, sets it down and says "I think it's time for lunch".
Sis - Dad, don't you think you should go in and wash your hands?
F.I.L - Na just get me a washcloth.
He doesn't shower when they are camping, there's a shower at the campground, and there's also one in the motor home, but he won't bathe until he gets home, they aren't coming home until this Friday.
We were there Friday and Saturday, this was our view - I love to camp, next time we're going North so that they won't want to come along, and we aren't telling them we are going.
I know this makes me a party pooper, but I have never been camping and I'm not starting now.
ReplyDeleteMy stepdad does that buying and selling thing, too! It can be infuriating. He's brought home old crappy corvettes and Malibu's and "antiques," you name it. But in the end, he made money so we had very little room to talk.
And I think you meant brakes, sweetie.
That toilet water thing is weird. And gross. And weird.
GAAA it looked weird when I was writing it.
ReplyDeleteI know weird, gross, and weird, fortunately they came home today, so he can shower.
I love to camp, there's nothing like sitting next to the fire for hours in the dark with a drink in one hand and a bag of doritos in the ther
Totally with you on the drink and the fire. I just prefer it to be a fire pit on a porch. Porch time is in my top ten activities even if I do get eaten alive.
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteSomebody's gonna read that and put it in a movie.
My dad can never resist a "deal" either. Luckily, though, he does shower regularly.
ReplyDeleteGreat view! Although I'm with you, next time I'd escape without telling ANYONE!
ReplyDeleteProbably right IT
ReplyDeleteI love his family, don't get me wrong, but sometimes they're more trouble than they are fun to be around.
ReplyDeleteAlex brought home a "chicken car" one time. Some guy he knew was leaving the area and selling this yellow station wagon/SUV thing really cheap. It smelled like chickens inside that vehicle. I guess the the ran for a few weeks. Good bargain Alex.
ReplyDeleteI remember you told me about the Chicken Car. It still makes me laugh. F.I.L has had more motorhomes than I can count. We lived in one in his front yard for a few months while our first house was being built. I say built, I mean rolled in.
ReplyDeleteOh, so he wouldn't want a toilet water shower?
ReplyDeleteI find this post hysterical. My family is originally from Arkansas and it took me years to lose that accent. Unfortunately, if I go visit there it comes back. I wrote a post (Do I Talk Funny) about this bilingual ability of mine. My two languages being Northern and Southern.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly how my dad would have behaved. I would think Steve and I were long lost cousins or something but I don't know of any of my assorted uncles bying crappy RV's at the moment. I am surprised your F.I.L. didn't say the thing had tires on the roof. If it was a regular trailer you would put tires on the roof to keep the metal roof from vibrating in the wind.
I do hope that the non-Arkie readers understand this taste for trash has nothing to do with lack of money. This would be the same for poor, middle or stinkin rich.
I wouldn't be surprised if it was covered with a ripped blue tarp. He didn't mention that though. And you're so right about the tires. It's amazing to me the things he says like the wheels on the car are tars but they patch the road with tire. I'm so glad you were able to read with the accent in your head, it makes the story. I can't tell it without talking like him.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah. Next year is secret! There's only so much toilet water I can take on a person.
ReplyDelete:)
totally!!!
ReplyDeleteGorgeous view! But you definitely need to leave them behind next time. Sometimes you can love family without camping with them.
ReplyDeleteOh, I forgot to mention that I am over at my site talking about you. You have become the fodder of my post along with some other unconsenting friends. I was sent a challenge and am passing it along. Don't feel the need to participate.
ReplyDeleteToilet water? I was cringing!!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to my place Aleta!!!! Where'd you come from?
ReplyDeleteToilet water, I know so gross.