Haley's Birthday Dress

I have just about finished Haley's birthday dress, it just needs a zipper. I spent about 5 hours on Christmas Day to get it to this point. It's really heavy, but I think she'll like it anyway.

TODAY IS MY 1 YEAR BLOGAVERSARY

Today is my 1 year Blogaversary, one year ago today thanks to Linda and Mike I started my blogarific journey. Thanks to those of you who have been around since the beginning, and to the newbies I see popping up over there. I appreciate all of you. And if you’re lurking, even though it’s not De-lurking Day please, pop out and say hi. I’m nice most of the time, and it would be great to see you.

Now for your challenge should you choose to accept it. The interwebs is full of useless crap gifts that nobody really wants. Go out and find me some really good crap, I don’t want you to buy it, just paste the link your comment. I’m excited to see what kind of stuff you think I would like. I have a prize for the winner, and I promise it’s not crap.

I Didn't Forget!!

I decided to sew Haley a couple of play dresses, one for Christmas and one for her birthday on the 27th.
I haven't sewn from a pattern since middle school. I'm not even going to tell you how long ago that was.
Turns out I didn't forget how, one dress down, one more to go.

10 Things that Say You are from My Home Town

This weeks listicle is courtesy of Amanda


I grew up in Shelton, WA not many people would admit that, it was a small town but it grows every year, the town used to end at a tavern and now where the tavern was is a Jack in the Box and a car wash, Walmart came to town over 10 years ago, and it was a big deal. After that most of the mom and pop stores closed, JC Penney and Sears were downtown, and they became a thrift store and a senior center. It's just proof that change is constant.

Here's my list of things that would say you are from my home town

1. You are from my home town if you have a mullet

2. You are a woman and think it's ok to wear work boots with sweat pants to a restaurant 

3. You have at least one broken down car in your yard

4. When new people come to town the highlight is driving them past the giant Santa Clause or the Paul Bunion statue

5. You remember how awesome it was when Walmart came to town

6. You have at least one family member who is a member of the Eagles or the Melks Lodge (the Moose and the Elks share a building)

7. You know all the side streets to keep from getting stuck behind the train

8.You have watched salmon swim across the road

9.You have gotten food poisoning from The Ritz Drive In  restaurant but you keep eating there because it tastes so darn good

10. You remember when the Skyline drive in theater used to only show porn

I'm Obsessed with a Dude in a Dress

 Every year, health and weather permitting we participate in the annual motorcycle toy run that benefits toys for tots. To get through the gate and line up you either have to donate $15.00 or bring a toy. This year a whopping 17,000 bikers showed up for the cause, it was about thirty degrees last Saturday morning, I was bundled up in leggings, jeans, assless chaps, a long sleeve t shirt, a wool sweater, and my leather jacket, and I was warm.

This guy, dresses like this every year, I don't know if he always cross dresses, I completely admire him if he does. I appreciate anybody who lives honestly and isn't afraid to show all of their true colors, it's a hard choice to make and it's a hard life to live. And I applaud them all.

These are some of the pictures I was able to take of him, I wasn't able to get close enough to talk to him, and Steve would have been embarrassed.

Sorry he's sideways, I rotated him on my pc but for some reason rotated pix never stay that way.

The Cossacs also preformed, they're a motorcycle drill and stunt team from Seattle and all of their bikes are from the 20's and 30's.

Something I found extremely ironic, is that the ride went past the Occupy Olympia camp, they were out there with their signs to stop consumerism, and whatnot, and all of these bikes were bringing toys for kids whose parents can't afford it. If you look closely across the lake, the blue tarps are the camp and the bikes are lined up on both sides of the road for over a mile, at some points they were lined up two deep. This was the 34th annual run, and I hope that one day, it won't be necessary, but until then, bikers will gather, in freezing fog or snow or sun to ensure that kids have something to open on Christmas morning.

I'm also trying to help Jacque win a contest, I don't have pictures of the toys we took, but I had The Game of Life and Yahtzee, and when we got to the end of the run where we drop off toys, I gave a dollar to the Salvation Army pot while I was waiting for coffee.

Vanilla or Feet?

Dear Sugar Free and Fat free Creamer,
We have been friends for a really long time now, what would you say like maybe 10 years? In that time you have been many different favors, but in the last few years I've noticed you're pretty plain, vanilla and hazelnut have become my only two choices. I don't understand, I just have to say that hazelnut tastes like feet, not that I eat feet, I have, I'm sorry to admit, but the opinion of this house is feet, see it's not just me, Steve says you taste like feet too. Vanilla, is so, vanilla, whatever happened to variety being the spice of life? I like other favors, but I compromise either fat free and or sugar free to get something different. Vanilla or feet.... Vanilla or feet... I guess I choose vanilla.

Mattress Mary

I wrote a song once about my friend’s sister Mary, she was a slutty alcoholic, that smoked, wore too much perfume, and had birds. She also dated my brother in high school.

It went a little something like this…. To the tune of “love and marriage” aka the theme song to Married With Children

Mattress Mary, Mattress Mary,

Shave that bush it’s too damn hairy,

You can ask my brother, she’ll hump one and then

Another

Mattress Mary, Mattress Mary,

Drinks like a fish

And smells like a perfume factory

Bird shit on her shoulder

I wonder if anybody

Told her

Ask, ask, ask

And you can mate her

She’s not a challenge

Ask, ask and she will only jump

On your protrusion

Ohhhh Mattress Mary, Mattress Mary

Shave that bush, it’s too damn hairy

Bird shit on her shoulder

I wonder if anybody told her

I know, it’s not nice, but it’s still sorta funny, and pretty creative too. Steve helped me write it. He’s good at rhyming.