I'm Still Here

I'm still here, I've just been busy sewing, and staying off the interwebs, I'm glued to my computer all day at work, and when I get home, the last thing I want to do is sit in front of a screen and think of clever things to write. I'll be back around to post hopefully sooner than later, just know that everything in my little corner of the world is peachy until further notice.

hugs

Madge

You Asked For it!!

My girl Jacqui over at Chicktuition.com had some burning questions that she was forced to ask by someone who memed her. I'm not going to forward the process, since I don't have much time to write or read any more, I wouldn't want to assign somebody a task that I'm not going to follow up on. So without further adieu, here are the answers to your questions....

1.What is one thing people might be surprised to learn about you?

      Once upon a time I put 37 sugar snap peas in my mouth all at one time.

2. Which three movies would you want with you if you were stranded on a desert island?

       Pee Wee’s Big Adventure

       The Breakfast Club

       Pretty Woman

3. Which three books would you want with you if you were stranded on a desert island?

I don’t read books, and I can’t think of any that I have read that I want to read again. But a couple   that I’m sure would come in handy are…

·         How to Survive Alone on a Desert Island (there has to be one out there somewhere)

·         Some sort of plant, animal, and bug book so I’ll know what I can eat, and what animals and bugs I should be scared of.

·         Crossword Puzzle book

4. If you could only eat one food for a whole week…what would it be?

BACON!!!!!!! I LOVE BACON!!!! But I’m sure after eating it for a whole week, not only would I hate bacon, but my fingers would be as big around as kielbasa sausage and my heart may just have to explode from all the strain.

5. If your life was a reality show…what would the name of the show be?

Procrastinating and Falling Down

6. Name one thing you hope to accomplish this year.

I want to get up on a Sunday morning, put on my snowman feety pajamas and write a blog post. Hey!!! Look I’m a total success!!!

7. What is the funniest movie you’ve ever seen?            

I have seen lots of funny movies but I think The Jerk is probably my favorite.

8. If your relationship was a movie…what would it be called?

With all My Heart

9. Shower or bath?

Shower most of the time, and sometimes bath.

10. Describe your perfect day.

My perfect day at home would be like this: I wake up around 9 without help from the dogs, get the coffee going while I peruse Pintrest, sit on the couch and watch TV until I’m ready for a nap, order in some Chinese, and have somebody else come clean my house.

My perfect day on vacation would be like this: Wake up around 9, jump in the shower and walk to a great restaurant for an amazing California Omelet with home fries and coffee. Sit on a bench and watch the world until it starts to get too warm out, then walk down to the beach and lay in the sun until my skin feels like crispy bacon. Find a great place for lunch and ice cold beer, then go hang out in a park and take a nap like a homeless person, followed by more beach. Then we would walk back to our hotel, take a shower, change, and go find another bench to sit on until some good live music starts in a bar with a big roll up garage door, so when you’re inside you still feel like you’re outside, and start drinking whisky. Do a little slow dancing, and then stumble back to the hotel……

11. Who is your favorite character in a movie? Why?

My favorite character in a movie is almost always the one that brings the twist you weren’t expecting, the girl he falls in love with instead, the guy who was really the killer, I guess it’s because I’m always rooting for the underdog.

When it's Time for Change

I've been working since I was 12, as soon as I could babysit, I was doing it. My family was low middle class, at least that's what I tell myself. I would babysit all summer, so that when school started I could buy my school clothes, mom bought my coat, and everything else was up to me.

I don't know how not to work, I have always had two and sometimes three jobs. Over the last 17 years, Henry has always been my second job, I took care of he and his wife until she died, and it was her dying wish to me that I take care of of him until he either died or wound up in a nursing home. About three weeks ago, he hemorrhaged and wound up in ICU they fed him four units of blood, and discharged him home, that night he fell out of bed and wound up back in the hospital, and now he is in the nursing home. He seems to think they're going to send him home after 30 days, but he'll be 97 in May, and I really hope they keep him. He's too old to live alone, he can hardly dress himself, and he's lonely. At least in the home he has companionship and someone to help him with his daily living needs at all times. He's better off there.

A week and a half ago, I quit my job. I would have been there 5 years in March, I made decent money there, I took on more responsibility than I should have, and I gave them all I had to give. They trusted me with everything, and when it snowed a foot overnight, rather than making sure I stayed safe, I was reprimanded for not putting chains on my car, walking to work, or riding the bus since I only live two miles away I had no excuse for not being there. I quickly realized my true value. I wrote a letter of resignation, and I walked to the office at 7:15 in the morning, in an ice storm, packed my desk, left my letter and walked home.

You may be thinking, a foot of snow, really, you quit because of a foot of snow? It was the last of many heavy straws that had been placed on my back. This is western Washington people for the most part are idiots here in the snow, we are never prepared, and we don't know how to drive, a foot of snow closes everything here, everything except the office where I worked.

So now for the first time in my life since I started babysitting at age 12 I don't have a job. I'm working on my aprons, so I guess technically, I'm self employed. I do have some really good prospects, I was offered a job last week, but it didn't pay enough. I have a phone interview today, and another interview with a different company on Friday. I'm waiting for the right job, not the first job, because now, I know my worth.

I'm in the Apron Making Business!

I started making Aprons on Sunday. I designed the pattern, and it's not one size fits most yet,I was talking to a friend, and she said that usually these types of aprons don't fit bigger girls so there's no point in even wearing them.  I have an idea how to change that, everyone should be able to look cute.

This one took me about 8 hours to make,  but I think once I get in the zone I should be able to make them fairly fast. I have a friend that has a little store she said she could sell whatever I make.

Ode to the Kidney Stone

My husband had a kidney stone

It’s made from calcium 

Yeah that’s like bone

And when it passed

I’m just glad he was at home

My husband had a kidney stone

It looks like God Zillah

His kidney was its home

It took a month but

It finally fell into the throne

Sorry the picture is blury, I didn't have my cable to connect my camera, so I took a picture of my camera with my phone and sent it to myself.

Haley's Birthday Dress

I have just about finished Haley's birthday dress, it just needs a zipper. I spent about 5 hours on Christmas Day to get it to this point. It's really heavy, but I think she'll like it anyway.

TODAY IS MY 1 YEAR BLOGAVERSARY

Today is my 1 year Blogaversary, one year ago today thanks to Linda and Mike I started my blogarific journey. Thanks to those of you who have been around since the beginning, and to the newbies I see popping up over there. I appreciate all of you. And if you’re lurking, even though it’s not De-lurking Day please, pop out and say hi. I’m nice most of the time, and it would be great to see you.

Now for your challenge should you choose to accept it. The interwebs is full of useless crap gifts that nobody really wants. Go out and find me some really good crap, I don’t want you to buy it, just paste the link your comment. I’m excited to see what kind of stuff you think I would like. I have a prize for the winner, and I promise it’s not crap.

I Didn't Forget!!

I decided to sew Haley a couple of play dresses, one for Christmas and one for her birthday on the 27th.
I haven't sewn from a pattern since middle school. I'm not even going to tell you how long ago that was.
Turns out I didn't forget how, one dress down, one more to go.

10 Things that Say You are from My Home Town

This weeks listicle is courtesy of Amanda


I grew up in Shelton, WA not many people would admit that, it was a small town but it grows every year, the town used to end at a tavern and now where the tavern was is a Jack in the Box and a car wash, Walmart came to town over 10 years ago, and it was a big deal. After that most of the mom and pop stores closed, JC Penney and Sears were downtown, and they became a thrift store and a senior center. It's just proof that change is constant.

Here's my list of things that would say you are from my home town

1. You are from my home town if you have a mullet

2. You are a woman and think it's ok to wear work boots with sweat pants to a restaurant 

3. You have at least one broken down car in your yard

4. When new people come to town the highlight is driving them past the giant Santa Clause or the Paul Bunion statue

5. You remember how awesome it was when Walmart came to town

6. You have at least one family member who is a member of the Eagles or the Melks Lodge (the Moose and the Elks share a building)

7. You know all the side streets to keep from getting stuck behind the train

8.You have watched salmon swim across the road

9.You have gotten food poisoning from The Ritz Drive In  restaurant but you keep eating there because it tastes so darn good

10. You remember when the Skyline drive in theater used to only show porn

I'm Obsessed with a Dude in a Dress

 Every year, health and weather permitting we participate in the annual motorcycle toy run that benefits toys for tots. To get through the gate and line up you either have to donate $15.00 or bring a toy. This year a whopping 17,000 bikers showed up for the cause, it was about thirty degrees last Saturday morning, I was bundled up in leggings, jeans, assless chaps, a long sleeve t shirt, a wool sweater, and my leather jacket, and I was warm.

This guy, dresses like this every year, I don't know if he always cross dresses, I completely admire him if he does. I appreciate anybody who lives honestly and isn't afraid to show all of their true colors, it's a hard choice to make and it's a hard life to live. And I applaud them all.

These are some of the pictures I was able to take of him, I wasn't able to get close enough to talk to him, and Steve would have been embarrassed.

Sorry he's sideways, I rotated him on my pc but for some reason rotated pix never stay that way.

The Cossacs also preformed, they're a motorcycle drill and stunt team from Seattle and all of their bikes are from the 20's and 30's.

Something I found extremely ironic, is that the ride went past the Occupy Olympia camp, they were out there with their signs to stop consumerism, and whatnot, and all of these bikes were bringing toys for kids whose parents can't afford it. If you look closely across the lake, the blue tarps are the camp and the bikes are lined up on both sides of the road for over a mile, at some points they were lined up two deep. This was the 34th annual run, and I hope that one day, it won't be necessary, but until then, bikers will gather, in freezing fog or snow or sun to ensure that kids have something to open on Christmas morning.

I'm also trying to help Jacque win a contest, I don't have pictures of the toys we took, but I had The Game of Life and Yahtzee, and when we got to the end of the run where we drop off toys, I gave a dollar to the Salvation Army pot while I was waiting for coffee.

Vanilla or Feet?

Dear Sugar Free and Fat free Creamer,
We have been friends for a really long time now, what would you say like maybe 10 years? In that time you have been many different favors, but in the last few years I've noticed you're pretty plain, vanilla and hazelnut have become my only two choices. I don't understand, I just have to say that hazelnut tastes like feet, not that I eat feet, I have, I'm sorry to admit, but the opinion of this house is feet, see it's not just me, Steve says you taste like feet too. Vanilla, is so, vanilla, whatever happened to variety being the spice of life? I like other favors, but I compromise either fat free and or sugar free to get something different. Vanilla or feet.... Vanilla or feet... I guess I choose vanilla.

Mattress Mary

I wrote a song once about my friend’s sister Mary, she was a slutty alcoholic, that smoked, wore too much perfume, and had birds. She also dated my brother in high school.

It went a little something like this…. To the tune of “love and marriage” aka the theme song to Married With Children

Mattress Mary, Mattress Mary,

Shave that bush it’s too damn hairy,

You can ask my brother, she’ll hump one and then

Another

Mattress Mary, Mattress Mary,

Drinks like a fish

And smells like a perfume factory

Bird shit on her shoulder

I wonder if anybody

Told her

Ask, ask, ask

And you can mate her

She’s not a challenge

Ask, ask and she will only jump

On your protrusion

Ohhhh Mattress Mary, Mattress Mary

Shave that bush, it’s too damn hairy

Bird shit on her shoulder

I wonder if anybody told her

I know, it’s not nice, but it’s still sorta funny, and pretty creative too. Steve helped me write it. He’s good at rhyming.

I MADE IT 30 DAYS!!

Today is number 30 of 30 days of November a post a day NoBloPloMo!
And I am done! Done I say.
Thanks to everybody for hanging in there with me, sorry I didn't visit you much, but I'll be around more now that I have time to read and not write.

30 posts in 30 days, not so hard.

PSA

Just a quick PSA to remind you, if you haven't had your physical this year the time is now. You have until the end of December to get it in this calendar year.

Girls - Spread your legs and get your boobies squished (if you're old enough)

Dudes - Turn your head and cough, and bend over for the good doctor.

Everyone, get a full blood work up and start the new year off on a healthy foot.

Snow!! Really!!!!

Not this last Saturday

But the week before

I looked outside and to my horror

There was f-ing snow

Snow I say,

The weekend before Thanksgiving

This can’t be true

F you snow!

I hate you!!

It didn't last long, and really this little dusting was very pretty, but it is just a harsh reminder that winter is on the way. .

Let's do the Time Warp Again....

I was at Henry’s this morning, and we were talking about what he did for Thanksgiving. He said he went to his nephew John’s (John is in his mid 60’, this will matter later on in the story) house and it was a poor excuse for Thanksgiving.

I got there around 4:30 or 5:00 and there were no whore-durs or anything, I had a brandy, and do you know, we sat around that table until 7:00 and there was no food of any kind. I was beginning to think that there wasn’t going to be any food, and that brandy was going to be all I got. All people did was drink this wine like none I have ever saw before, it was completely clear like water, and it was really really good.  So about 7:00 the food was finally done, Lena fixed me up a plate, I don’t know if they had a whole turkey back there or not, they wouldn’t let me see it, but I wanted to bring the bones home for my African chickens (crows). I had some dressing and some turkey breast, potatoes, salad, and some sort of green beans with those long skinny nuts in them. And there wasn’t no kind of dessert, no pumpkin pie or anything, not even coffee. And I’m telling you that’s a piss poor meal, no dessert or coffee just more wine.

There was this little baby there, I think it was John’s kid. John was running around with this girl and she got pregnant, her parents wouldn’t let him marry her, and I think that was the same baby.

So I said, ok so John recently got a lady pregnant?

   No, No it was a while ago

A while ago? Was John in high school?

   No, he was probably 20 or 21

Ok, so he got a lady pregnant when he was 20 or 21, so 40 something years ago?

   Yes, and I think that was his little kid

So you aged, and Nina aged and died, and the kid stayed 4 or 5 years old?

   Yes.

The child didn’t grow up?

   No, he didn’t, cute little bugger too.

I tried to explain to him that it was his other nephew’s son, the child is his great nephew. About four years back Tye’s daughter and her husband adopted a baby, right after that she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, they didn’t catch it in time and she died. So the baby is his nephew. I couldn’t convince him otherwise.

I want to figure out how to bottle that fountain of youth, anybody want some?

Tis the Season for Tampon Angels, Fa La La La La

  To make tampon angels you will need the following supplies:

Ø  The most absorbent Playtex tampons you can find, I’m using Supers, but the Super Plus or Ultra make a bigger angel.
Ø  Some white glue and glitter glue

Ø  Small beads
Ø  Flesh Color paint and sparkly paint 
ØSomething for hair, I’m using shredded jute twine, but I have also used tinsel or yarn.
Ø  2 inch wire ribbon for the wings
Ø  Pipe cleaner for the halo ( I know, I know, it’s politically correct to say chenille stem, I’m old school, it’s pipe cleaner)

 Ø  A small paint brush or q-tips

Ø  Markers for the mouth and eyes

To start, pop the tampon out and loosen the string, move it down like a noose, and soak the tampon completely, wring out the water, fluff and hang somewhere to dry for a couple of days.

Once your base is dry, grab your paint, make her a face on the widest side of the top, and paint her dress with the glitter paint.

I don’t wait for anything to dry, I just get to work. I add some white glue to the bottom of her dress and shake in a little bowl of beads.

Make a small line of glue like a cross on her head, and stick the hair on.

Cut your ribbon in about a 6 inch length, fold it over on itself and pinch together in the middle, grab your pipe cleaner and wrap around the bow. About an inch above the bow, make a loop and wrap around the stem, cut off any remaining wire. Glue to the back.

I use the glitter glue to make her a collar, it covers up the string and the line between her face and dress, make a line down the front of the dress and add some beads.

By now the face paint should be dry, make her a couple of eyes, and a mouth.

Pull the string through the top of the halo, and you’re done, now hang her to dry somewhere and make some more.

The hardest and most frustrating part of making these angels, is getting F-ing blogger to arrange the pictures in the right order.  :)

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Done Shopping...

...almost

I'm going to make Haley some princess dresses for Christmas, and I'm going to buy the fabric tomorrow, and I have to pick up a couple of $25 gifts for our family drawing, and then I'm done all done!!

Whatcha Bringin'?

We’re going to Steve’s brother’s tiny little house for Thanksgiving, there will be way too many people there, and FIL, MIL, and Sis have to come from over 30 miles away because BIL and his wife are selfish. FIL has taken a bit of a turn for the worse, and can barely walk to the bathroom. But we’re still all going to pile into BIL’s house.

We were going to go to FIL’s house because it would be easier for them, Sis lives there, she was going to make the turkey, and we were going to bring stuff over, but BIL said he promised his kids last year that we would have it at their house this year, even though everyone is always invited to Thanksgiving wherever it is.

I’m a little disgruntled with BIL and his wife because last year, when Thanksgiving was at my house they texted Wednesday night and said they were having their own Thanksgiving, and they wouldn’t make it to our house, which would have been fine if they were bringing mashed potatoes, or a pumpkin pie, but they were bringing the ham. I had to go to the grocery the night before thanksgiving and pick over the last hams left. I always invite everyone, BIL, his kids BIL’s wife’s kids and their fam, I had a 25lb turkey expecting everyone to show, and there were 6 of us.

Whenever we invite them to any family gathering, they call or text 5 minutes before they are supposed to show up and cancel, but I can’t not invite them to a family thing, because they are family.

That is why I waited until Monday to RSVP, I wanted to wait until Wednesday night just to prove my point, but Steve said I should do it sooner, so against my better judgment I did.

All that was left to bring was an appetizer or pop.

I’m bringing bacon wrapped mushrooms with bbq sauce.

This is how it’s made:

Buy 10-12 big white mushrooms, and the cheapest bacon you can find.

 Quarter the shrooms and the bacon, wrap the bacon around the shrooms and stick with a toothpick, bake at 350 until the bacon is cooked, then top with your favorite bbq I prefer Stubs Hickory Bourbon sauce and bake another 10 minutes. Viola an appetizer that only costs about 5 bucks, unless you use spendy sauce. 

Man I Have had a lot of Jobs... The Finale

Medical Supply: I had a little bit of a medical background from going to massage school, so I understood a lot of the diagnosis’s, but learning codes and Medicare guidelines was a total bitch. I got it though, and I was good at my job, they transferred me to the new store, I developed all of the policies and procedures for the store, worked with the corporate office to manage invoicing and I was there by myself all day, I had a lunch relief worker, but that was it. And when I asked for a raise, I got written up instead, for not keeping up on the insurance end of things. Did I mention I had no support, none, management never offered to help, and when I asked for help I didn’t get it. I left that company after 3 years, when I was recruited to sell yellow pages.

 I loved selling yellow pages, I loved the freedom to do what I wanted when I wanted, I had breakfast out with my friends every morning. I got to design ads for businesses and I made a lot of money. I always got my 30% increase because I learned early how to play “the game” and my clients loved me and looked forward to seeing me coming. Until the day our company was bought out by the largest yellow pages company in the world. They changed the game, and I became a faceless number who was failing at my job. I couldn’t sell anything, and over half of my clients cancelled. New business with these new rules was a thing of the past, and I couldn’t design ads any longer, they left it to the “designers” who did substandard work and didn’t follow directions. I was miserable, and every day I didn’t have a sale I would have to report to the manager’s office, where I was pretty much told I was worthless, and I would cry. I cried in my car every day, I cried before work, and I cried when I got home. Fortunately I still had flexibility to spend my time doing what I wanted, and I went to a temp agency and took a test, they had a job interview for me the next week, and that leads me to my current position.

Currently I work for a financial advisor, I have been here almost 5 years, and my anniversary is in March. I really like my job, I learn something new every day, and that keeps me from wanting to leave. Usually after 3 years, I’m ready to move on. My boss and his wife are really good people, they treat me really well, and I don’t see myself going anywhere anytime soon. We

During my time at the credit union, and into my time at the medical supply company, I also was a barista, and I started taking care of Henry and his wife Nina until she died. Somewhere along in there I was also a janitor our crew cleaned Mervyns; I have mad respect for janitors that have to clean public places like that.

I read a quote once that said something like, If you can do for 3 years what most people won’t do, you will be able to do for a lifetime what most people can’t do. I took that to heart, and every new job I get I try to make it last at least three years, even if I hate